Sometimes there are moments when you take mental pictures, and you wish so badly that you could somehow print them out. But you can't, so all you can do is hope you'll always have that picture in your mind and remember it forever and ever.
Since we've gotten Lincoln to sleep on his own in his own room, the only way he can fall asleep is by laying him down and he just self-soothes himself to sleep. Don't get me wrong, this is wonderful, and we have been different (by different, I mean people who get sleep) people ever since he started doing this. But, as some moms might know, once babies get to that point, trying to rock them to sleep doesn't really work anymore. At least for me it doesn't. Every once in a while I just wish SO badly that he'll just let me rock him, or hold him without trying to squirm or jump out of my arms using his new-found strength (and it's STRONG, believe me) so we can have a moment together.
Tonight was one of those moments, as I actually got to rock my baby to sleep. Staring at that sweet little face reminded me of so many things in his short 10 month life so far. I was reminded of when we were in the hospital, and we tried SO hard not to hold him "too much" for fear that he'd never sleep on his own. But we just couldn't help ourselves. Can you really, though? With your first precious baby? Maybe we did pay for it later, though because I was also reminded of the nights I spent on the couch just holding him while he slept. And let me tell you, that was rough. But it was in those long, tired hours that I also got to study my sweet baby's newborn face and try to lock in that mental picture. How fast those newborn moments fly by. Well, let me say, looking back how fast those newborn moments fly by. I know that during those first few weeks, you feel like you haven't slept in years and will never sleep again. But fly they do, and it's right before your eyes.
And while I feel like these times might be creeping by slowly (being at home all day, just us two while Lorne is at work or school) , I realize how fast time really does go. So to get a moment like I did tonight was priceless, for lack of a better word. I'm sure when he's 18 months i'll be staring at his sweet sleeping face and be reminded of the time he let my rock him to sleep when it'd been such a long time since I had.
Cherish each moment. They're all so precious, but so fleeting.
Some may call me overly-sentimental, but I embrace it! How I want to remember all these precious little moments!
